How We Ask Determines The Outcome
On Risk, and Risking and Learning From Other Community Builders
Hey, it's Wednesday! Yay!
We've got to celebrate what we can, y'all. Let's celebrate what we can.
Okay, moving on.
Although creating and running an indie show/podcast is not working in a coal mine, it's also not all puppies, rainbows, and waterproof sparkly glitter mascara.
Although we've all been at that show, haven't we? Usually in June.
Because creating these indie shows can be so much work, I am very grateful for the generosity of folks who've created community spaces where I could develop material for Second Helping.
(You haven't heard about Second Helping: Two Dead Lovers, Dead Funny? Nor that it’s produced by none other than the godmother of alt comedy herself, Beth Lapides? Or that I’m performing it THREE TIMES ONLY in NYC on 3.25 and 4.22 and 5.18 with a livestream to everywhere option in May? And that my nurse/performer/sister Beth Dunham Toner is opening for me? And that you can get tickets right here? Or even VIP options with gifts like trophies and an activity book I made, just for you, etc. etc..)
Ahem. Moving on again.
Earlier this month, I started asking the hardworking folks who run these community spaces what their efforts and interactions have taught them about asking for help.
Coincidentally, this happens to be the theme of Second Helping.
See what I did there?
Moving on once again, my first conversation was with Risk's Kevin Allison, whom I met when we recorded a very NSFW story from a hotel rooftop in Chelsea. Why did we think an NYC roof was a great place to record a podcast? I'm unsure. The story involved not one but two baseball bats. Bazillions of people listen to the Risk podcast. And they listen very intently. More than a decade later, people mention the baseball bat business even when I speak at nursing conferences. Which is a lot of NSFW interacting with my W, yknow? Since then, I've been grateful for the live/streaming opportunities with Risk, which has been one of the places I could be honest and open about the fullness of my relationships, including power dynamics and polyamory.
Kevin said I never know precisely when and how the people I've asked for help might be able to provide it. Last year, RISK! listeners who were moved to hear me share about my mental health journey over the years ended up coming together for a 10-week wellbeing practices support group over Zoom that was just as helpful to me as to everyone else who participated.
He also related a story of a podcast fan who curates vacations in wine country in Portugal, offering to produce a storytelling + tourism + RISK!'s 15th-anniversary party sort of getaway package deal for Risk's listeners. And that even though Kevin (and other folks working on Risk) are not shy about letting folks know that they're looking for collaborating opportunities and new ideas, it was still surprising because "we never quite know precisely how someone might end up being able to lend a helping hand."
These fantastic outcomes (the Zoom wellbeing practice calls and the Risk getaway deal) came about because Kevin wasn't afraid to openly share his real struggles over the years and his real need for help to create more community and support the show/podcast.
I always want to be very relaxed, chill, and casual about requests for support, "Hmmm, well, if you'd LIKE to…" but people respond to authenticity and vulnerability, not sly shrugs.
And moving on once again, that content might be theoretically helpful for you, dear substack reader, but was also very much what I needed to read this morning.
PS Sigh. Great. Now, I have to be vulnerable and open. So annoying.
Please come to Second Helping, IRL or if you’re not in NYC, virtually. I’ve been working on it a long time, and it’s a great show.
So nu, how do we attend virtually? I see only actual come-in-person tickets for sale but am wondering if there's something I'm not seeing...